Ladies and Gentlemen –
I am glad to see that you all survived Thanksgiving and your annoying cousin visiting for the holidays that feels under some obligation to brag about how damn successful he is, how much “stuff” he has and how smart his damn kids are and how wonderful “the” spouse is.
Well, I hope you survived it.
But “IF” you are somehow readying this week’s update in the county jail, after winging your cousin with a turkey leg, then I hope you get released before Christmas on good behavior.
Weekend Rewind…..
The last full week of the regular college football season wasn’t too bad for Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator.
Considering of course that anything can and will happen during “Rivalry” week, we finished last week at 49 and 10 or 83%.
That leaves The CFB Wizard at a rather impressive 705 and 145 or 83% for the final regular week.
We still have some Championships to decide this week, with “Who Goes and Who Stays Home” at stake.
So let’s get right to it, shall we?
A BRIEF COMMENTARY
So what is it that you college football fans “REALLY” want?
You want it ALL right now?
Right!
You deserve it TOO!
Right!
Of course I am right!
So let’s see, where should the “bar” be set for your next coach?
Because the one you have now is a total LOSER, with a capital “L”!
Averaging almost ten wins a season, considering of course there are only twelve games in a season, isn’t good enough is it?
HELL NO IT ISN’T!
Right!
Of course I am right!
So let’s think about this for a minute
Coach (fill in the name) can only lose one game during the course of a season, providing of course it’s not to a rival or was “upset” in any way by some team that isn’t of our caliber.
But preferably we desire (demand actually) that Coach (fill in the name) vanquish every foe, complete the season undefeated and win the Conference and National Championship by at least four touchdowns.
And certainly we must mention “upsets” because that simply can’t happen!
I don’t know what you have heard Coach (fill in the name)
But “Upsets” don’t happen in life and it won’t ever happen on the football field here.
Not to “US” anyway!
Right!
Of course I am right!
Sorry, a clarification was necessary on the above “issue” so some pesky coach doesn’t think that an “upset” will fly around here, because it won’t. Not ever mister, do you hear me!
Am I right?
Of course I am right!
Coach (fill in the name) will meet boosters, various alumni clubs year round, while recruiting constantly and preparing future plays and design exhaustive schemes to thwart those schools that our many fans who never attended our hallowed halls would approve of.
Coach (fill in the name) while preparing for yet another National Championship season, will appear on every radio, television (local and national) year round, to include Christmas and Easter to give updates on the preparation and preparedness of said football team.
Also Coach (fill in the name) has to go to children’s hospitals, answer fan mail, be involved in community projects, while keeping 110 student athletes academically eligible and out of trouble.
Because we don’t want any (as in none) bad publicity!
Our reputation is the Best Ever!
Let’s not forget that Coach (fill in the name) must have a beautiful, articulate wife and well behaved clean cut squared away children, be involved in numerous charities and always smile for the camera while raising her index finger to signify that we are “Number One!”
But it’s not all work!
Coach (fill in the name) will be allowed to see his wife and or children for fifteen minutes every other Tuesday evening at ten o’clock pm, unless it’s during the season, which is an obvious “no-no”.
And let’s not forget Coach (fill in the name), you cannot lose more than one game per year!
Don’t forget it!
After all, we wouldn’t want “our” powerhouse of a college to fall into mediocrity like Nebraska did a few years ago with old Coach Frank “What’s His Name” Solich
Can you imagine only averaging winning ten games a season, while winning two conference titles, taking the team to a national championship game, producing a Heisman trophy winner, coach of the year honors (Blah-Blah-Blah) in just six years!
Good thing they got rid of that LOSER!
Right?
THE GAMES
Friday, December 4
Bowling Green and Northern Illinois
This is the Nick Knack Paddy Whack Give a Dog a Bone Conference Championship
Not that I actually care….
HUSKIES 38-34
Saturday, December 5
Temple and Houston
This is your American Football Conference Championship Game…
I am an American, and “yes” I do care about this game damn it
HOOTERS 38-34
Texas at Baylor
I can’t watch this…..
BEARS 141-10
Southern Mississippi and Western Kentucky
This is the Conference USA Championship…..
It’s hard to pull against the Hilltoppers
But I am
GOLDEN EAGLES 34-31
Georgia State and Georgia Southern
This one, is easy……
SOUTHERN EAGLES 41-14
Texas State and Arkansas State
This one is going to be close….
Real Close
RED WOLVES 33-31
New Mexico State and Louisiana Monroe
The truth here is this…
Neither one of these two teams is worth a damn this year
WARHAWKS 24-17
Oklahoma and….
The Big 12 Championship Game
(Never mind)
West Virginia and Kansas State
I will use a famous quote from history here to describe this game…
When preparing to assault San Juan Hill in the Spanish American War
Lt. and future Coach Bill Snyder said to Col. And future President Teddy Roosevelt
“I think we can take them”
BILL’S CATS 33-24
Florida and Alabama
Atlanta Georgia
The Georgia Dome
This is….
The Southeastern Conference Championship Game
It’s going to be closer than you think
CRIMSON TIDE 28-24
Troy and Louisiana Lafayette
I am distracted due to a Sammy Hagar song on the stereo…
But I stand by this pick nonetheless
RAJUN CAJUNS 44-17
Appalachian State and South Alabama
I call “Upset” here……
(“Yes” I am serious…)
JAGUARS 31-28
San Diego State and Air Force
Two words for you…
“Bombs Away”
FALCONS 38-31
Stanford and Southern California
This is the PAC 12 Conference Championship Game
And oddly enough, unlike the “Big Ten” there are actually “12” teams in this conference
(What an interesting approach to simple math)
CARDINAL 34-17
Michigan State and Iowa
Here is your Big Ten (Or twenty two..) Conference Championship Game…
Hey WAIT a MINUTE!!!
Where are THE Ohio State BUCKEYES!!!
I thought they were the GREATEST team ever!
O’ Yeah, never mind…
I call “Upset” here
HAWKEYES 31-28
North Carolina and Clemson
The Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) Championship…
I promised my adopted Tiger families an undefeated Championship this year
I plan on delivering…
But it’s going to be real close
Real Close
DABO’S TIGERS 31-28
The Citadel and Charleston Southern
This is a Battle in the Low Country that I wouldn’t want to miss…
It’s going to be a good one
It’s a toss up
BULLDOGS 34-33
Chattanooga and Jacksonville State
This game is going to be a slugfest from start to finish
You better hang on to your seat if you are watching this one
GAMECOCKS 38-34
Montana and North Dakota State
This playoff game is a replay of the first game of the season for both teams
The Mighty Grizzly upset the Bison in that one…
Not going to happen this time
Believe that
(But it will be close…..)
MIGHTY BISON 31-28
Next Week…..
As the college football season comes to a close next weekend, there will be some abbreviated picks with the Army-Navy game and a few other playoff selections for you, but until the bowl games, and playoffs are determined next week we will be a wrap for the 2015 season here.
Thank you all for riding along with me this year, I truly appreciate it
Stay Tuned my friends..
One More thing…….
If you love “magic” there is a story waiting for you on mikerights.com that you should thoroughly enjoy.
In fact, I am betting that even if you don’t like magic you will enjoy it.
I am sure of it
Enjoy Your Championship Weekend
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD