Ladies and Gentlemen –
I don’t know about you….
But it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a heaping unhealthy dose of hate, discontent and consternation.
And by making that particular statement…..
I am in no way referring to your crazy Uncle Todd, who always finds a way to get all liquored up before the turkey gets carved and urinates in the begonias.
Nor was that a reference to your senile Aunt Gertrude who once again got confused and made a casserole out of Cheerios and cheese sticks.
It’s getting ready to get ugly, this Thanksgiving
(And “NO” I was not referring to the Ohio State cheerleaders)
So Buckle In….
Weekend Rewind…..
Other than picking the Ohio State “Upset”….
(You are Welcome America)
And picking the Oklahoma win over Texas Christian
Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was an uncharacteristic 51-14 or 78% last week, which caused me almost the same kind of indigestion you will have this Friday morning after being forced to eat your in-laws “famous” ten bean surprise.
WARNING: You are going to get surprised alright, so have a good book to read and plenty of toilet paper on hand, along with a good plunger near by.
That aside, The CFB Wizard stands at 656-135 or 83% for the 2015 season.
Can you believe it, almost 800 games picked so far this college football season.
In case you were wondering, sometimes my own awesomeness even surprises me.
It’s Hated Rival Week, so let’s get to it
EMAIL(S) OF THE WEEK
Q: Dear Sir
I have a question that is been nagging at me all year.
What are West Point’s chances of defeating Navy this year?
Lt. W. R. Richardson United States Army, Fort Hood, Texas
A: Well Lieutenant, army has the same chances of defeating Navy this year as….
Hillary Clinton telling the truth…
The Affordable Care act being Affordable…
Monkeys learn to fly….
I meet a deaf mute super-model that owns a chain of liquor stores
I hope that helps…
Q: Hey Wizard, got me a question!
Me and the wife is trying to smoke a turkey this year and we are having one hell of a damn problem getting that bird to catch on fire.
Hell, we have tried lighters, a blow torch and a road flare.
Nothing!
You got any tips, Thanksgiving is a coming up!
Danny and “Cricket” – College Station, Texas
A: I honestly have no idea why people make “Aggie” jokes…
THE GAMES
Tuesday, November 24
Bowling Green at Ball State
I don’t like to “guarantee” any Picks…
But let’s just say I feel pretty good about this one..
FALCONS 48-10
Ohio at Northern Illinois
When I am in the “Zone”, I am in the “Zone”
I am rolling “Upset” Here
FRANK’S CATS 26-21
Thursday, November 26
South Florida at Central Florida
They call this battle in the Sunshine State…
“The War on I-4”
That’s No Bull…..
DA BULLS 41-24
Texas Tech at Texas
It doesn’t seem right to me that Texas and Texas A&M aren’t playing on Thanksgiving.
In fact, I am still mad about it…
Anyway….
This rivalry in the beautiful Lone Star State is played for
“The Chancellor’s Spurs”
I got two words for you
HOOK EM 34-31
Friday, November 27
Miami (FL) at Pittsburgh
I wish I cared, but the Iron Bowl is tomorrow…
(Sorry)
PANTHERS 31-24
Marshall at Western Kentucky
Two of my favorite teams square off in this one
This one is going to be close (Close)
HILLTOPPERS 41-34
Navy at Houston
(See the game description above)
And “Add”….
GO NAVY
MIGHTY MIDSHIPMEN 34-24
Western Michigan at Toledo
This game is played in the “Glass Bowl”….
(Yeah, I am serious…..)
(I don’t get it either, so don’t feel bad)
ROCKETS 31-24
Kent State at Akron
This rivalry in the Buckeye State is played for….
“The Wagon Wheel”
And around and around we go…..
RICKY ROCKET 34-17
Eastern Michigan at Central Michigan
This “big” rivalry in Michigan….
Whatever….
I got nothing
CHIPPEWA’S 28-21
Troy at Georgia State
I can’t help but wonder…..
If Helen of Troy is cooking her own turkey this Thanksgiving?
(I know, sometimes I wonder too much)
MEN OF TROY 31-14
Missouri at Arkansas
I think these mighty Hogs are going to run all over the “protesting” cats
And I will enjoy every blessed moment of it…
RAZORBACKS 34-14
Oregon State at Oregon
This hated rivalry in the great Northwest….
Is called “The Civil War”|
Believe me, there won’t be anything “civil” about this one
QUACKS 44-14
Washington State at Washington
This rivalry in the land of Coach Don James…
(I still miss him)
Is played for the coveted “Apple Cup”
This one is for you coach….
HUSKIES 31-28
Iowa at Nebraska
I know you are thinking it, so I will just say it…
“How many damn rivalry games does the Big Ten have?”
This one (Yes yet another one…)
Is played for “The Hero’s Trophy”
(I assume that is a sandwich)
HAWKEYES 28-24
Boise State at San José State
The Bronco’s got bombed last week….
(“NO”, not like that, it was the Air Force Academy)
They rebound this week…
BRONCO’S 44-17
Baylor at Texas Christian
This “new” rivalry in the Big 12 is entitled…
“The Cry Baby Bowl”
As both teams, coaches and fans whine more than a new puppy
BEARS 100-99
Saturday, November 28
The Playoff Games
Fordham at Chattanooga
Let’s break this one down….
Chattanooga is the home of….
Moon Pies..
R C Cola
Krispy Kreme Donuts
Krystal Hamburgers
What does Fordham have other than Vince Lombardi played there?
Nothing…
MIGHTY MOCS 34-17
The Citadel at Coastal Carolina
This is going to be a Battle in the Palmetto State…
O’ My…..
BULLDOGS 38-34
South Dakota State at Montana
What I wouldn’t give to be in Big Sky Country this weekend….
That place is a slice of Heaven
Believe it
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 41-31
Valdosta State at West Georgia
These Blazers took down the Carson Newman Eagles last week…
They are on a roll; believe it
BLAZERS 34-31
Tuskegee at North Alabama
Two fine teams from the great State of Alabama…..
I hate they are playing each other
But in this one, I am going with
FLORENCE LIONS 38-24
Cincinnati at East Carolina
This game should be entitled the Schizophrenic Bowl
You never know which team is going to “show-up”
PIRATES 28-17
Southern Methodist at Memphis
I am so sorry Mustangs….
I feel so ashamed
ELVIS’S TIGERS 41-31
Iowa State at West Virginia
Nothing says Thanksgiving in Morgantown like….
The smell of burning couches!
MOUNTAINEERS 41-17
Indiana at Purdue
This rivalry in the Big Ten (Whatever) Conference is played for….
“The Old Oaken Bucket”
(Yes, I am serious…)
And the leaky bucket of goo goes too…
BOILERMAKERS 3-2
Maryland at Rutgers
Nobody cares….
MULTI-COLORED MIND NUMBING JERSEY WEARING TURTLES 7-6
Southern Mississippi at Louisiana Tech
My Black Lab “Doc” is giving me “The Look”
(He is such a good boy)
BULLDOGS 28-24
Ohio State at Michigan
This hated rivalry in the Big Ten Conference is simply called…
“The Game”
I am calling it….
WOLVERINES 24-21
Florida Atlantic at Old Dominion
I wish I gave a Hoot about this game….
But I don’t
OWLS 24-14
Clemson at South Carolina
They call this game “The Palmetto Bowl”
The bitterness of this rivalry in the palmetto state lasts all year and beyond
It’s going to be ugly
DABO’S TIGERS 34-10
Virginia Tech at Virginia
This rivalry in the commonwealth of Virginia is played for…
“The Commonwealth Cup”
(Yeah, I can’t get excited about it either)
CAVALIERS 21-17
Georgia at Georgia Tech
This bitter (bitter) rivalry is known simply by three names..
“Clean, Old fashioned hate”
It’s hard to believe they can put so much hostility into three words..
BIG DAWGS 31-28
Louisville at Kentucky
This Battle of the Bluegrass has been moved to end of the season…
It’s played for the Governor’s Cup
Believe me, these two groups despise the hell out of each other
I am going with…
CARDINALS 41-38
Boston College at Syracuse
This game will be televised on NBC…
As in Nobody Cares
ORANGE 17-14
Duke at Wake Forest
This rivalry or whatever on Tobacco Road
Hasn’t been interesting since Brian Piccolo played for Wake…
BLUE TURDS 24-21
South Alabama at Georgia Southern
The Jaguars of Alabama will keep this one close, for a while…
Then it will be all….
SOUTHERN EAGLES 34-28
Colorado at Utah
So Two Utes with a turkey under each arm come for thanksgiving…
Stop me if you have heard this one…
TWO UTES 41-24
North Carolina at North Carolina State
Another rivalry on the well worn Tobacco Road
It’s been a while since this one was close
TAR HEELS 34-10
Alabama at Auburn
The voice of college football, the great Keith Jackson had this to say about
“The Iron Bowl”
“There are rivalries and there are rivalries and then there is Alabama and Auburn”
Enough said….
CRIMSON TIDE 28-24
Charlotte at Rice
Like I care, the damn Iron Bowl is on television
RICE CAKES 28-10
Penn State at Michigan State
(See above)
SPARTANS 41-14
Wisconsin at Minnesota
This rivalry has been called “The Border Battle”
It’s played for Paul Bunyan’s Axe and a Slab of Bacon
(Yes, I am serious)
So just remember kids, as long as we eat pork products….
The Muslim terrorists can’t win
CHEESE MEN 38-17
UCLA at Southern California
This cross-town rivalry in the Land of Fruits and Nuts is played for….
“The Victory Bell”
(I would rename this one “The Botox Bowl”, but that’s just me)
BRUIN BEARS 31-28
Northwestern vs Illinois
This sort-of not so bitter instate rivalry is played for….
“The Land of Lincoln Trophy”
That’s weird to me, because I thought Lincoln’s were made in Michigan
Funny what you learn sometimes…
WILDCATS 21-17
Brigham Young at Utah State
This instate rivalry in the Land of Donny and Marie is played for….
“The Old Wagon Wheel”
As opposed to the “new” wagon wheel?
I don’t get it….
COUGARS 33-24
Arkansas State at New Mexico
Wolves and Lobo’s…..
I consulted my two four legged “Prognosticators” on this one
It was unanimous
RED WOLVES 34-10
Kansas State at Kansas
This instate rivalry is called….
“The Sunflower Showdown” and it’s played for the Governor’s Cup
I know what you are thinking…..
And you are right
My mind is a storehouse for strange facts, known by few…
(It’s a curse and a blessing)
BILL’S CATS 38-10
Vanderbilt at Tennessee
Here we go…..
This rivalry in the Volunteer State is called…
“The Hillbilly Hoedown”
(We can only hope that no Hoes will be harmed in this matchup)
VOWELS 24-17
Connecticut at Temple
Sorry, I am still laughing over the Hillbilly Hoedown comment…
OWLS 28-24
Ole Miss at Mississippi State
If you want hate and discontent then this is your game…
“The Egg Bowl”
There will be fist fights, cussing and arguing……
(And that’s in the parking lot before the game)
BULLY DOGS 31-28
Notre Dame at Stanford
This rivalry of sorts is played for “The Legends Trophy”
For a change….
It will determine who moves on and who goes home
CARDINAL 24-17
Florida State at Florida
“The Sunshine Showdown”
Call it a feeling….
MIGHTY GATORS 24-21
Texas A&M at LSU
I still have faith in the Bayou Bengals
Believe it
HEY FIGHT’N TIGERS 28-21
Oklahoma at Oklahoma State
I have picked each and every one of the Sooners upsets this year…
(You are welcome Sooner Faithful)
This is simply called “The Bedlam Game”
My streak continues…
BOOMER DAMN SOONERS 34-28
Arizona State at California
I am sorry….
The Bedlam Game is on television…
SUNNY DEVILS 38-34
Air Force at New Mexico State
Doesn’t New Mexico have an Air Force bombing range?
I thought so….
FALCONS 41-14
Next Week…….
Depending on the outcome of the Iron Bowl, you will have the last of this 2015 season’s picks out on Wednesday of next week.
(Don’t judge me)
And don’t forget to check out Harley Hanesworth’s column on Tuesday, right here on The CFB Wizard.
It’s hard to believe that we have reached the end of the regular college football season.
One More Thing………
This Thanksgiving I am thankful to be with you all, for another season.
I am so grateful that so many of you continue to ride along with me each and every week throughout the season. Thank you for reading The CFB Wizard and Mikerights.com
It means a lot to me, thank you all
God Bless you and have a Happy Thanksgiving
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD