Ladies and Gentlemen –
Last week saw more wringing of hands and praying than an Auburn fan watching an overtime game with Jacksonville State, no wait that almost nearly happened.
Never mind…
But you get the point
Tighten those chin straps, it’s about to get rough
Weekend Rewind….
It’s time to be gracious and magnanimous here…
So needless to say, I didn’t see any of the major upsets coming last week
None, nada, zip…
After all it was still “cupcake season” for many of the teams
But that aside Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 69 and 9 or 88%
So after two weeks The CFB Wizard is 141 and 19 or 88%
I will be adding a few more games of your favorite teams next week due to some suggestions by my adoring fans.
Speaking of adoring fans, please don’t send me anymore gifts.
I couldn’t tell if the macramé wall hanging someone sent me was either the Pope or a Klansman but it was just weird
But the Sock Monkey with my face sewn on it was out right creepy
However I will say, Sock Moneys are fun, even when you are alone
Never mind
Forget I mentioned it
SOUTH GEORGIA FOOTBALL NEWS and VIEWS
Greetings from the Heart of SEC Country!!!
Well, it was a great weekend for football down here in the middle part of the state, as the Boys in Blue traveled to Soperton to take on the Treutlan County Vikings and strut out of town with a 30-6 win.
These Gladiators of the gridiron put the pressure on the Vikings and sank their ship as they piled up the yardage and laid the lumber to the homestanding Vikes. Kell Pound was a beast in the backfield, Tyler Bowen was a force on both sides of the ball, and Larrion Hamilton ran up and down the field seemingly at will.
Although Coach Burleson was pleased with the effort he said that the Trojans still have work to do if they want to compete with the Big Boys of 2A – namely Charlton, Clinch, and Irwin Counties respectively.
Next up is an attempted invasion from the Confederates of Turner County as the Rebs attempt to come in and capture a victory to improve on their 3-0 record
On Saturday, the Cow College set sail for Nashville to tangle with the Seamen of Vanderbilt in their first conference matchup of the season. The Mutts have had problems as of late with these Midshipmen but on this day, despite the Commodores hanging around for most of the game, they sank Vandy by a score of 31-14.
Nick Chubb deflated the sails of the Nashville Navy to the tune of 189 rushing yards while Sony Michel added almost 60 and chipped in a TD for good measure. Next up for the Dawgs is a date in Athens with the Chickens of Columbia in a game that could mean a whole lot more to the HBC than most people realize.
And just off I-75 in Atlanta, the Wreck of Tech took on the Green Wave of Tulane in another warmup game which might add a locker room or scoreboard to the visitor’s stadium. The Bees 65-10 dismantling of Tulane means that they should be more than ready for a big visit to South Bend to tangle with the Taters of the Midwest. That should be an interesting game as Notre Dame, more a less a guest contestant of the ACC, attempts to win a game without injured QB Malik Zaire.
And up in the Prettiest Little Stadium in America, the Birds of the ‘Boro’s workhorse Matt Breida rushed for almost 180 of the Eagles’ 413 yards and punched in 4 touchdowns as the Blue Clad Birds of Prey thoroughly dominated the visiting Ponies of Western Michigan by a 43-17 score. It was apparent
that the homestanding Predators of Paulson shook off the effects of week 1 as they unleashed an offensive jugernaut against the hapless Colts to the delight of the 23,000 plus fans in attendance.
Next week the Eagles take on a familiar foe in the form of the Mangy Mutts of the Holy City and their version of the flexbone at 6 pm in Statesboro as they try to march to their first ever bowl game.
Over in Starkeville, the goalposts remained in tact after a close 21-19 win by the Bayou Bengals. Trailing 21-6 in the 4th, the Hometown Pups mounted a comeback, but it was too little too late and a case of opportunity slipping through their paws as they failed on a 2 point PAT to tie and a long field goal to win.
The Gainesville Reptiles escaped with a win over ECU and upped their record to 2-0. You would have thought the Swamp Dwellers had lost from the tirade launched during the post game press conference, but the win will most assuredly give a little more confidence to a team that hasn’t had much for the last couple of years.
And the prime time game on Saturday between the Okies of Muskogee and the Mountain Men of Knoxville was supposed to be a coming out party of sorts for Coach Butch Jones and his merry band of Volunteers. It started out that way but then there was the 4th quarter and the wheels fell off. 2 touchdowns in the final quarter and OT proved to be the demise of Tennessee, as Oklahoma headed the wagons west after a 31-24 overtime victory.
I’m not going to harp to much on the Plainsmens’ game against the Chickens of Jacksonville state, but I will say this. Only once in over a hundred matchups has an FCS team beaten a Top 10 program and that, as we remember, was against an overrated Michigan team which was on their way to an unprecedented dip in success. Any parallels evident as the season unfolds? We shall see.
Arkansas, what can I say? Over 500 yards of Total Offense and the Rockets of Toledo somehow come out with a win. This is definitely a step back for the program and the conference.
Finally, the Kittens of the Blue Grass State traveled to Columbia and made Fried Chicken out of the Yardbirds as they escaped Williams-Brice with a 26-22 win. The teams apparently had some sort of agreement in which one would play well for a half while the other one snoozed. The only two points Kentucky scored in the entire second half turned out to be pivotal as instead of driving for a field goal to take the lead late in the 4th, the Chickens needed a TD to overcome a 4 point deficit. And that was one mountain they couldn’t climb.
Things I think:
Arkansas – Holy Toledo. The party line was that you’re making great strides. Ahhhh, Yeah. My 91 year old dad strides better.
Auburn I – Jacksonville State? Seriously?
Aurburn II – I will say this. Gus Malzahn spinning that game in the post game press conference reminded me of Nancy Pelosi trying to sell us all on Obamacare before it got passed
Auburn III – Gus said Auburn didn’t play their best…… But what if they did?
South Carolina – The only 2 points in Kentucky scored second have were the most important of the game. Changed everything because now the Yardbirds need a TD.
South Carolina II – I’m watching to see what happens in Columbia the rest of the season verrrrrrrry closely. LSU, A&M, Georgia, Clemson, Missouri, and Tennessee all of a sudden look even less winnable. And what happens with the HBC if the Pullets go 5-7
Missouri – I gave you the benefit of the doubt in the above comment. You weren’t that special yourself in that Arkansas State game.
Tennessee – Butch has the same record as Derrick Dooley did at this point in his tenure. You were rolling….. until you weren’t.
Alabama – Coker looks okay but the Rebs are itching for a repeat of last year.
Texas A&M – Looks like their first real conference test after the ASU win will be Mississippi State instead of Arkansas.
Ohio State and their fans….
I get tickled listening to their calls on the Finebaum show. They gloat incessantly. They try to poke at the “Big Bad SEC”, but it’s hard to take anybody seriously with that Northern accent that sounds like Dave Chappel doing a bad imitation of Dan Akroyd doing a bad imitation of a Chicago Bears fan.
The funny thing is, you never heard a peep out of them after that Va Tech loss last year. Heck, they were largely quiet up until the Big 10 Championship game, even after they crept into the top 10. You’ve got to get it right, kiddos.
You toot your horn for your team and conference AT ANY GIVEN TIME.
Not just when you’re winning.
Well, That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week.
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.
Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth
EMAIL QUESTIONS and ANSWERS
Q: Dear Sexist Jerk
I cannot believe for the life of me why you haven’t mentioned in recent articles this year about the wonderful accomplishments of women!
This past week a woman kicked an extra point for the Kent State Golden Flashes and this past summer the first women even graduated from the Army Ranger School!
Can’t you at least acknowledge the accomplishments of these women you sexist jackass!
Sincerely
President Polly Dykes
Men Haters Club of American
New York, New York
A: I don’t follow Kent State; however you are incorrect as to the “first” women to pass ranger school.
Here are the first women to ever be rangers
Q: Really Dude?
You had a “music” video from David Hasselhoff on the CFB Wizard website?
I can’t believe you did that, it was horrible.
Seriously
Paul, Nashville, Tennessee
A: Lesson Number 43 in Life…..
“Don’t Hassle The Hoff”
(It’s in the Bible)
Q: Hey Mister Wizard
I am mad as hell and I got to talk to somebody!
I saw this thing on television the other day and thought to myself “Ok”
So I called this number on the television and this lady answers the phone.
I tell her I saw her program and advertisement of the television and then..
I tell her “I don’t think I can dance I know damn well I can dance”
She gave me some crap about flying out to the California or something
So I said “I don’t have to prove a damn thing to you, just send me my damn money”
The she said “THEY had to SEE me dance”
So I said “Lady are you calling me a damn liar?”
So she hung up on me and I called back several times and got the same run around.
I am so *&^%$#@ mad I could spit nails.
Do I have a lawsuit or what should I do?
Melvin “Dancing Machine” Thomas – Auburn, Alabama
A: That all depends Melvin if you can “Pop and Lock” while doing the “War Eagle” dance
I’m just asking…
Q: Greetings and Salutations Good Sir!
I always like to be formal in my introductions!
My name is Jack McCracken and I have written you in the past, regarding other entertainment endeavors I have embarked upon.
I was once the most popular William Shatner impersonator in the entire Cincinnati area as well as a noted amateur magician. My catch phrase (Which all good entertainers “Must” have) was “Warp Speed Scotty!” I would use that all the time for just about anything.
I would bring the house down at the Interstate 275 BP Truck Stop and Lounge with that every time!!
Now, it’s time to hang up my Star Trek uniform and retire my magic show for creative writing.
I am creating my own unique daily calendar with insightful thoughts for each day.
For example yesterday’s “Insightful Thought” was….
“The other day I thought of all the things I could do with cheese.
I don’t think cheese would make very good gloves or sunglasses
But the socks would be delicious”
Then Today’s “Insightful Thought”
“Some people say that yard gnomes can’t be gay
I disagree
I was in K Mart last week and I caught one of them staring at my personal business”
What do you think?
Do I have career in my newest creation?
Jack McCracken – Cincinnati, Ohio
A: This reminds me that I need to call my LSU Fighting Tiger attorney and renew those restraining orders from last season.
Jack are you still living in your grandmother’s basement.
Q: What the heck is going in this world?
The country is in debt up to our eyeballs, the middle-east is on fire and of all things Jared from Subway is arrested for molesting little girls, what the Hell Mister Wizard?
What is your take on all this?
Jerry, Tupelo, Mississippi
A: Jerry I know this world can be confusing and oftentimes quite disturbing.
But I think the one lesson we can take away from Jared at Subway is simply this…
If you eat healthy and lose a bunch of weight you will turn into a pedophile
And that my friends, is why the good Lord invented fried chicken and cornbread
Amen
COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM NEWS
LSU: This past week, LSU coach Les Miles spent a portion of his post-practice media session praising junior wide receiver Travin Dural for his heroic act from July 30.
That day, Dural and his cousin, Southern wide receiver Randall Menard, passed an overturned vehicle shortly after leaving their home in Breaux Bridge. A woman had swerved off of Zin Zin Road and her vehicle landed upside down in a waterless ditch.
Both front doors on the vehicle were jammed and the driver’s side door was crushed against the wall of the ditch.
Seeing the overturned vehicle, Dural and Menard turned around to see if they could help. Dural and Menard pried open the rear passenger door and pulled the woman out of the vehicle.
“We had to muscle it open,” Dural told the Baton Rouge Advocate earlier this week when asked about the accident. “It was a good thing we turned around. I’m glad we got a chance to help this lady out. There were no cars on the street. I don’t know when the next time somebody was going to come by.”
If it weren’t for Michael McQuade, a St. Martin’s Sheriff Deputy, no one at LSU would have ever known of Dural’s heroic effort. Dural never mentioned this incident or his actions to anyone at LSU.
A few days after the incident, the LSU football office received a call from McQuade detailing what had happened. He told Ya’el Lofton, the administrative assistant for Miles, that Dural, “called 911 and stopped and actually gave assistance to this lady. He noticed she was trapped, so he did what he could to get her out of the vehicle. The lady in the car was okay and said how respectful and helpful Travin was to her.”
Miles found out about what Dural did on the day the LSU football team reported to campus for preseason practice. At the first team meeting of the year, Miles told the team what Dural had done and the team responded with a huge ovation.
“I introduced that story to our team when they arrived for two a days,” Miles said. “Travin is a Good Samaritan for what he did and how he acted. The woman ran into a ditch and couldn’t get out. Travin saw she was trapped and yanked on the door creating an opportunity for her to get out.
“Travin left the scene once the officers arrived and never said anything to anyone here. Then we get a call from the deputy telling us what happened and how Travin responded. So many times in the season we point out a player’s bad play. We get consumed with the negativity that can surround any group of people, athletics or not. You lose sight so many times of the wonderful things people do for other people. Travin Dural, give him a round of applause and hats off to him. He’s a great kid and great person. He will be a good man and good father.”
EDITORS NOTE: You can’t beat that….
TEXAS: Just a few days ago the University of Texas fired (yes, fired) their Athletic Director.
I have just one thing to say to the football coaching staff
“IF” I were you I would start winning….
Or It won’t be long….
ARMY: Army Chief of Staff General Martin Dempsey was deflecting criticism of the West Point’s football team this past week by explaining several questionable choices that were made by the army coaching staff during their latest loss against Wake Forest.
“I think some people are trying to read too much into certain scenarios that took place during the game to draw whatever conclusions will match their preconceived notions about army football.
I support the coach’s decision to only have the kicker on the field during kickoffs and refrain from having anyone on the field when the opposing team is kicking off.
This isn’t about being “risk averse”, it’s about training officers for a career in the army. The score of these games is meaningless; it’s about doing the right thing. That is precisely why our West Point football players all wear their reflective PT belts during the game along with their gas masks strapped to their legs. Sure those items are cumbersome, but would you rather impress your superiors by unquestionably following what may be perceived as ludicrous directions and get promoted or be “that person” who questions authority?
As I have said before, “winning” is just a word, but your OER lasts forever.”
SOUTH CAROLINA: Damn it…..
FLORIDA STATE (Alumni): This past week former Seminole darling, Heisman Trophy winner and current Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston completed his first ever professional pass for a touchdown for the Tennessee Titans on an interception return.
An open microphone on the sidelines reportedly overheard Jameis Winston say to the Titan football player that returned his first ever professional pass for the opposing team’s touchdown…
“I’m going to rape you”
Winston’s attorney who oddly enough runs plays back and forth from the sidelines to the Buccaneers offensive huddle stated emphatically that “the suggestion of said rape by his client (Winston) was consensual”
MARYLAND: The LSD multi-colored (groovy) uniformed turtles lost last week for one very good reason…
Their own uniforms caused their own players to have numerous seizures which resulted in excessive vomiting and disorientation.
Now you know how we feel at home when your damn games are televised.
OHIO STATE: Crowned the Champions of Hawaii last week (Congratulations by the way…) The Buckeyes will begin their first step towards defending their Mid-American Conference (MAC) Championship this week against the nearly (sometimes moderately tough) Northern Illinois Female Hygiene Institute.
ARKANSAS: I’m sorry you lost to “who” again?
AUBURN: Congratulations on a horribly embarrassing win.
MICHIGAN STATE: Great win at home Spartans; I should have gone with the men of Sparta.
MICHIGAN: Although I clearly missed this particular pick…
I want to congratulate the Wolverines for defeating the Beavers of Oregon State last weekend.
The Wolverines victory couldn’t have been possible without the outstanding play of one particular player and that of course is the Maze and Blue tight end Jake Butt.
EDITORS NOTE: “Yes” you read that correctly, Jake Butt is a “tight end”
Jake credits his outstanding play to his current fiancée Debra Whole who he plans on wedding in the spring of 2016. He had this to say about his emergence this year as a Wolverine gridiron star.
“Last year I had a girlfriend that really dragged me down, I’m really glad I didn’t marry her. But Wanda Stinky wherever you are I hope you are happy. But Debra has turned my life around and I can’t wait till we have the big Butt-Whole wedding in the spring”
EDITORS NOTE: I haven’t had this much fun with a player’s name since the “Wang” brothers were attending Virginia Tech. The Hokies were really good those years when they had the biggest Wang’s in college football.
DELTA STATE: I write about “The Fighting Okra” all the time….
Not only because it’s a little slice of Heaven in Mississippi
But also because it’s a wonderful school with a great tradition of football
There are no shortage of passionate fans and alumni of the Fighting Okra
This past week, a jackass professor from the university involved in some kind of school yard love triangle
Killed another professor, a woman and then himself
Tonight before you go to bed, please say a prayer for that little school….
THE GAMES
Thursday, September 17
Clemson at Louisville
The Big Cats from Beautiful Clemson will eat Bobby’s Birds…
Believe it
DABO’S TIGERS 34-21
Friday, September 18
Florida State at Boston College
I wonder if the number sexual assaults in Boston will go up this weekend?
It’s a reasonable question…
CRIMINOLES 34-17
Idaho State at Boise State
This one won’t even be close….
BRONCO’S 51-10
New Mexico at Arizona State
The only thing I know about this game….
Both places have a lot of sand, as in a lot of sand
And they are both hotter than the surface of the sun
SUN DEVILS 51-17
Saturday, September 19
Savannah State at Akron
I am going with the Pinheads in this one….
ZIPPY 21-17
Kentucky Wesleyan College at Delta State
After a tough week in Cleveland Mississippi, I have three things to say…
FEAR THE OKRA 38-14
South Florida at Maryland
There is a reason the “turtle” is the mascot of Maryland….
They are slow as hell and that’s no…
BULL 31-28
UNLV at Michigan
The Maze and Blue aren’t “back” yet, but they are on their way…
Believe that
WOLVERINES 41-14
Air Force at Michigan State
I hate to go against the mighty falcons….
But I didn’t pick the Spartans last week
Sorry
MEN OF SPARTA 41-17
Kent State at Minnesota
I could have sworn I saw a “Golden Gopher” the other day in my local Wal-Mart…
But it ended up being a midget with a lot of back hair reaching for something on a bottom shelf (Sorry for the visual)
O’ SO Very GOLDEN GOPHERS 34-14
Buffalo at Florida Atlantic
I don’t really give a big hoot….
OWLS 33-17
Nevada at Texas A&M
I think by the time the Wolf Pack hear “And the Rocket’s Red Glare..”
They will be ten points behind in Aggie Land
GIG EM 44-10
Illinois at North Carolina
It’s against my religion to pick any team from the north against my beloved South
It’s how I roll….
TAR HEELS 21-17
Connecticut at Missouri
(See the “Rule” above)
MO’S TIGERS 31-17
Wake Forest at Army
It’s no wonder little crappy countries think they can kick our ass…
They have been watching army play football
DEMON DEACONS 41-3
Tulsa at Oklahoma
This game is going to be uglier than Hillary Clinton in a mini skirt…
(I am sorry if that description made you nauseous, it did me too)
BOOMER DAMN SOONERS 41-17
Central Michigan at Syracuse
I wish I cared, but I really don’t….
ORANGE (Something) 33-17
Northwestern at Duke
A bunch of smart kids playing football….
That doesn’t seem quite right to me somehow
I’m just saying
WILDCATS 31-28
Georgia State at Oregon
This may very well be the best game on at 0200 Eastern Standard Time….
Well, it may be the only game on then too, but you get the picture
QUACKERS 51-10
Southeastern Louisiana at Ohio
Frank’s Cats defeated Mighty Marshall for the “Battle of the Bell” last week…
And I didn’t pick them
I won’t make the same mistake this week
FRANK’S CATS 41-14
Rice at North Texas
I don’t know if I have mentioned it lately…
But I love rice pudding
PUDDING POPS 31-28
Louisiana Tech at Kansas State
This game will be better than you think….
For a little while
BILL’S CATS 38-31
Troy at Wisconsin
The Boys from South Alabama have bit off more cheese than they can chew here
CHEESE WHIZZ 41-10
Northern Illinois at Ohio State
Buckeye Coach Myer called this game “a challenge”…
What, to get to the stadium on time?
Geez
BUCKEYES 101-3
Cincinnati at Miami (OH)
This instate battle in the land on buckeyes is played for the coveted
“WWWOSU Trophy”…..
(We Wish We Were Ohio State University)
In case you were wondering, the trophy is a statue of Coach Woody Hayes
BEARKATS 43-10
East Carolina at Navy
A little historical reference here….
“Pirates” haven’t fared to well against the United States Navy in quite a while…
That trend continues this weekend
MIDSHIPMEN 38-28
Norfolk State at Marshall
The Thundering Herd were taken down last week by Ohio for the Battle of the Bell
They will be back this week…
WE ARE MARSHALL 38-10
Texas San Antonio at Oklahoma State
What, were the “Stillwater Sons of the Pioneers Club” busy on Saturday?
Come on guys, you can do better than this…
COWBOY UP! 55-10
William & Mary at Virginia
Some people might say this is a rivalry in the Commonwealth of Virginia…
I would say that I really don’t care
CAVALIERS 28-24
Virginia Tech at Purdue
It’s almost turkey season, which is my favorite time of the year
Enough said
HOKIES 34-28
Georgia Tech at Notre Dame
Before you even ask me…..
“Yes” I am serious
YELLOW JACKETS 38-31
Nebraska at Miami (FL)
Believe it or not, this one could go either way
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 31-28
Auburn at LSU
I could easily take the cheap way out here and just pick..
“Tigers” and give you the score
But you expect more than that from me
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 28-17
Northwestern State at Mississippi State
I was going to give some brief description of how “ugly” this game was going to be, but I looked over at the Sock Monkey “gift” I had received last week and he made me feel “dirty”.
So I will just leave this conversation alone…
BULLY DOGS 44-13
Austin Peay at Vanderbilt
Enjoy your win Commodores, it’s likely to be your last of the season
COMMODORES 28-24
Western Kentucky at Indiana
I have but one question about this game…
Hoosier your Daddy?
HILLTOPPERS 31-28
Utah State at Washington
My Black Lab “Doc” insisted on this particular “pick”
(“Sadie” the German Sheppard concurred..)
HUSKIES 28-24
South Carolina at Georgia
“Doc” is looking over my shoulder and giving me “That Look”
If you know what I mean…
HUNKER DOWN DAWGS 31-24
The Citadel at Georgia Southern
I don’t care what “Doc” and “Sadie” have to say here…
Two dog picks in a row is enough, for now
SOUTHERN EAGLES 38-17
Furman at Central Florida
I could get excited about this game if it was “Gladys Knight”
But it would have to include the “Pips”
That’s a rule
O So Very Golden Knights 44-21
North Carolina Central at Florida International
I have no idea how the International House of Pancakes continues to end up on my “pick list” week after week. But I am going to check out the citizenship of the staff here at The CFB Wizard headquarters.
IHOP 33-21
Southern Mississippi at Texas State
The Boys from Hattiesburg are on their way back to the big time…
Believe it
GOLDEN EAGLES 31-21
Texas Tech at Arkansas
Lesson in Life Number 3: “Never corner something that is meaner, faster and angrier than you are”
(Note to self: That includes razorbacks….)
HAWGS 34-31
Western Carolina at Tennessee
I asked a Volunteers fan recently if they knew what a “Catamount” was in reference to the Western Carolina mascot. He said….
“They didn’t know what it was but it sounded like two cats were doing something nasty behind the barn”
VOWELS 44-10
North Carolina State at Old Dominion
I am getting rid of this Sock Monkey, it’s creeping me out…
Seriously
WOLFPACK 33-10
Colorado at Colorado State
This Big Rivalry in the Land of legal Marijuana and discount Cheetos
Is called “The Rocky Mountain Showdown”
It’s a tossup
RAM TOUGH 28-24
Florida at Kentucky
Most people are favoring the Wildcats in this one…
I am not “most” people
MIGHTY GATORS 34-24
Montana State at Eastern Washington
The Cats of Montana are on a roll and the eagles of Eastern appear to be grounded…
BOBCATS 28-21
Jackson State at Southern
This is one of my favorite rivalries in all of college football..
Jackson State’s “Sonic Boom of the South” Marching Band…
Southern’s “Human Jukebox Marching Band”
It’s the “Boom Box Classic”
Don’t leave your seat at half-time
WALTER’S TIGERS 31-20
VMI at Richmond
This rivalry of sorts in Virginia has been ruled by the “Spiders” of Richmond…
I hate those damn things almost as much as I do this Sock Monkey
SPIDERS 24-17
Montana at Liberty
I hate to see a bunch of good Christian kids get eaten alive by a bunch of grizzly bears…
I never said I wouldn’t watch it, I just said I hate to see it happen
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 38-14
Catawba at Carson-Newman
It baffles me why someone would name a college after something that you can’t say without hawking up something out of your throat. Seriously….
SPARKS EAGLES 31-28
Bethel (MN) at St. Olaf
Olaf better layoff off the beer for a while and concentrate on football….
Or this is going to be a dismal season
OLLIE 24-21
California at Texas
I am not confident at all in this pick….
(Not at all….)
And that makes me sad and mad
LONGHORNS 34-31
Rutgers at Penn State
Coach Franklin is starting to feel the Heat in Happy Valley….
I like to think of that as “Karma”
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 31-28
UTEP at New Mexico State
I saw a commercial yesterday on Turner Classic Movies for….
Sissy Spacek in “Coal Miner’s Daughter”…
(I think this is a sign)
MINERS 33-31
Pittsburgh at Iowa
I would somehow feel better about this game “if” the Hawkeyes would have taken my suggestion for a sponsorship and changed their name to the “Popeye’s”
(Their fried chicken is delicious)
HAWKEYES 28-17
North Dakota at North Dakota State
This Bitter Rivalry in the Dakota’s is played for “The Nickel Trophy”
It’s going to be a fight until the final whistle blows
MIGHTY BISON 34-31
Stanford at Southern California
I don’t know if I would go as far as calling this one an “upset”..
Mind nausea perhaps, but not an “upset”
CARDINAL 33-31
San José State at Oregon State
I was going to say something about the “beavers being bruised up after last week”
But for some reason that made me feel icky…
BEAVERS 28-21
Southern Methodist at Texas Christian
My Proud Ponies will put up a fight in this rivalry known as….
“The Battle for the Iron Skillet”
But ultimately, this one goes to the…
HORNED FROGS 41-28
Iowa State at Toledo
I think after my “missed” pick last week, I better sign up for rocket school
ROCKETS 28-14
Wyoming at Washington State
Cowboy Down……
MIKE’S CATS 41-21
Ole Miss at Alabama
This is going to fight from the opening kickoff to the final whistle
Believe it
CRIMSON TIDE 28-24
Brigham Young at UCLA
This one could go either way….
Not that I care
COUGARS 31-28
Utah at Fresno State
So Two Utes walk into a bar with a bulldog on a leash…
Stop me if have heard this one
TWO UTES 38-14
Northern Arizona at Arizona
I know what you are thinking….
And I agree with you
I don’t care either
ROD’S CATS 55-10
Next Week….
Providing I don’t need a liver transplant after this week’s games, your week four picks should be out next week, just as you expect them to be.
I know, I am cool like that, so please don’t embarrass me with your unbridled adulation. That is unless you really want to.
One More thing….
I have a story about a special friend of mine on mikerights.com this week. I hope you are able to get something from it, it means a lot to me.
Enjoy your games
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD