Ladies and Gentlemen
It’s hard to believe we are into Week 12 of the College Football Season…
It seems like only yesterday that the Oregon Ducks were quacking about being the best college football team ever in the history of college football in the entire universe…..
Yet here we are with Thanksgiving just right around the corner…..
Even harder to believe
As I set here at an undisclosed location on my mountain top retreat known as RTR Farm writing this weeks picks naked with my old college football helmet on my head…
(Don’t judge me)
The CFB Wizard has already picked 715 games this season….
That’s hard to believe….
(I am referring to the number of games picked thus far not me writing naked)
(Seriously, don’t judge me…)
Last Week Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator was 51 and 12 or 81%
Overall this season the CFB Wizard is 586 and 129 holding steady at 82%
Enjoy the Pick’s of the Week…
I have to get some socks on, my feet are getting cold
SOUTH GEORGIA FOOTBALL NEWS and VIEWS
Welcome from the Heart of SEC Country!!!
The last regular season game of the season down on South 3rd. This was the last chance for the homestanding boys of South 3rd to go out on top. Sorry to report, it didn’t happen. The homestanding Gladiators of Telfair came up on the wrong side of a 54-27 score at the hands of the visiting Patriots of Wilcox Country. The loss sent the Trojans to 1-4 in the region and making the playoffs now seems rather “iffy.” Said Coach Burleson, “Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. They killed us. That’s happened all year. If you don’t take care of the ball, bad things happen.” While finishing the season at 4-6 Burleson was quick to point out that the Seniors played hard and provided much needed leadership to a bunch of new kids that filled the roster. “I just want to thank our Seniors for playing their hearts out and representing our community so well.”
Up in Athens, the Red Clay Hounds had a tune up against a down App State team and came away with a 45-6 win between the hedges. Although it was closer at the half than most would like, the onslaught in the second half sealed the deal. One of the biggest highlights of the game was Aaron Murray surpassing Gator QB Danny Wuerffel’s TD record to add to his career passing yardage and total offense marks. Up next is a knockdown, drag out with the Plainsmen of Auburn in a renewal of the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry. Auburn looks tough but it could go either way. Up in Atlanta, the Wreck spent an off week trying to engineer a plan to stop the Felines of Death Valley II. The offense should do what they do best – run, as they have in winning 3 of the last 5. But D could spell doom against Taj Boyd and company. I expect a shootout come Thursday night. And at the Prettiest Little Stadium in America, the Birds from the ‘Boro closed out their SoCon era at home with a 35-19 win over the Cats of Western Carolina. Senior Jerrick McKinnon and the rest of the Seniors played in their last home game of their careers in the victory. The Birds travel to Elon for their last SoCon game ever before entering the Sun Belt conference next year.
Over in Tuscaloosa the Red Elephants proved too much for the Bayou Bengals, as Alabama turned a close game into a cake walk with a 38-17 win. After a close first have which saw the Cats trailing by only 3, McElroy and company poured it on in the second half to come away with the win. The Plainsmen of Auburn traveled to Neyland Stadium and proved to be rude guest by routing the Coon Skinners by a 55-23 tally. After a 6-6 tie in the 1st quarter, the Felines came to life and sent the Vols down to their 3rd straight defeat. Don’t look now, but Vandy is looking like it might be a tough row to hoe for the Orange clad Tennesseeans. And out on the left coast, the Water Fowl of the West flew south for a game with the Trees of Sanford. The Cardinal must have been sitting in a duck blind as they ambushed the Ducks and sent them to their first defeat of the season. This one probably knocked the PAC-12 completely out of the BCS National Championship picture. Let’s hope so.
That’s it for now. Hope everyone’s team wins and you have a great week
And remember; make sure you support your local High School Athletics.
These are your future collegians of tomorrow.
Until next time,
I’m Harley Hanesworth
COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS
TEXAS: I couldn’t be happier that the Mighty Longhorns won a tough one in Morgantown last Saturday
But as a side note
Can you try not to send myself and the other fans into cardiac arrest next time?
Thank you….
ESPN: I want to take a minute to thank the ESPN College Game Day Folks…..
Their segments of “Salutes to Veterans” was simply fantastic
Showcasing the numerous Veterans overseas with college banners was priceless.
From all of us
Thank you
FOXSPORTS: We have all read how earlier this year Fox Sports was going to have the “premier” college game day “program” while they “showcased” various games they telecast. I even read that they would “unseat” ESPN on College Game Days….
I don’t know if any of you have seen this ridiculous train wreck
But it’s awful
As in maybe the worst thing ever….
Their college game day “studio” looks like it was designed my some twenty year old dungeons and dragons geek on Ritalin.
If that isn’t painful enough (And painful it is…)
Fox Sports has three people in the announcer’s booth (Yes, THREE People) for college football games along with a bimbo sideline reporter flipping her hair and checking her makeup.
None of the three idiots in the “announcers” booth know anything about football…
Or ever played the game as far as I can tell….
They are all twenty something “hipsters” with enough possum grease in their hair to start a forest fire and they are all are talking over each other at the same time like they have had too much Red Bull and Five Hour Energy Drinks.
It’s maddening
I almost sprained my wrist trying to get to the “mute” button
If you “must” watch one of their telecasts
Do yourself a favor
Hit the mute button “BEFORE” the game starts
You will thank me later
NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY……
It’s a crazy world we live in today….
I never (ever) thought I would see the day
When….
The Mighty Oklahoma Sooners couldn’t run the football
And the Florida Gators can’t recruit a quarterback who can throw the football
OREGON: That whole craze of “We Want Bama” seems kind of silly now, doesn’t it?
DELTA STATE: Last Saturday…….
The Mighty Fighting Okra defeated the Concordia team…..
77-0
I have one thing to say about that….
DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
NOTRE DAME: I’m sorry, what were you all saying about going to a BCS Bowl?
FLORIDA STATE: Remember you read it here
The Seminoles ARE the team to beat this year…..
Period
CFB WIZARD COMMENTARY
This past Saturday ESPN’s College Football Game Day had a brief segment that caught my attention.
It’s the story of Patrick Yarber
He’s in his fifties
He lives alone
He has a myriad of health issues
He is disabled
And
He is going blind…
But it’s his dream to attend a home game at each of the Division I Football locations
He has been doing this trek around the country to the different college venues for a long time now
He has almost reached his goal
If you haven’t seen the segment, I encourage you to do so, it’s inspiring and uplifting
But Patrick said something in the interview that struck a cord in me
He said….
“Some people might think its crazy, but I love college football and even though I can’t see all of the game, I can feel the excitement of the crowd and hear the marching bands”
Then he said this….
“If I didn’t do something that I enjoy before I completely lose my sight, I would just set around my apartment and feel sorry for myself”
That’s when it more or less occurred to me….
How many of us don’t take the time to enjoy those things and people around us?
(I am talking more to myself than you readers here, in case you were wondering)
Without gushing about any of my recent pity parties here, I want to simply say this….
Enjoy today
Enjoy those little things that make you happy
Don’t take this day for granted
Love your neighbor, even if they still haven’t given your Weed Eater back when they borrowed it last March
Forgive each other, even if the Weed Eater is broken when you finally get it back
Love your family and friends
One more thing….
If I haven’t thanked you all this year for taking the time to read this little column week after week, I would like to do so now.
Thank You All, I greatly appreciate it….
THE CFB WIZARD
THE GAMES
Tuesday November 12
Ohio at Bowling Green
I haven’t be so sure about anything since I went to see the movie “Titanic”
I Just KNEW that ship was going to sink….
Seriously, I just knew it…
FALCONS 49-0
Buffalo at Toledo
I don’t know what it is…..
Call it a feeling…
ROCKETS 51-41
Wednesday November 13
Miami (OH) at Kent State
I think writing these picks naked with my college football helmet on is helping me focus
I’m serious..
GOLDEN FLASHES 24-6
Ball State at Northern Illinois
I am not trying to brag….
But when I’m on, I’m ON
HUSKIES 48-27
Thursday November 14
Georgia Tech at Clemson
I think this game is going to be uglier than Prom Night at the Primate Park
DABO’S TIGERS 41-14
Delta State at West Georgia
I Love Okra….
Boiled
Fried
Pickled
Or Fighting….
FIGHTING OKRA 38-17
Marshall at Tulsa
I have three words for you Golden Hurricanes…..
WE ARE MARSHALL 31-24
Friday November 15
Washington at UCLA
Some people might call this one an “Upset”……
Not me…
I am a dog man from way back…
HUSKIES 28-24
Saturday November 16
Yale at Princeton
Nobody cares….
Alabama at Mississippi State
I have to be honest with my Bully Dog Faithful….
I don’t think you have enough cowbells to stop this Tide from Rolling
CRIMSON TIDE 41-10
Mercer at Marist
I had no idea that Roy D. had his own college……
But I will tell you..
That Marist is a real fox
RED FOXES 31-10
Utah at Oregon
So Two Ute’s walk into a bar with a duck under each arm….
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before
QUACKERS 41-24
Carson Newman at Wingate
I have never liked the name “Wingate”….
It sounds like some smartass rich kid with a shiny bicycle
SPARKS EAGLES 34-17
Ohio State at Illinois
As you might imagine with another Big Ten (Or whatever the number is this week) matchup this game is also a “Rivalry Game”
This game is played for the……
“Illi-Buck”
I don’t know if you know what that it is……
But these Yankees are under the impression that it’s a turtle.
BUCKEYES 44-21
EDITORS NOTE: Yankees are a strange bunch…..
Virginia Military Institute at Citadel
This Old Rivalry is called….
“The Military Classic of the South”
They play each year for something called “The Sliver Shako”
I am not sure exactly what that is……
But it sounds like an Asian guy that has been dipped in quicksilver
BULLDOGS 34-14
Stanford at Southern California
I recognize that this is way off the subject…..
But do you know what is a fun word is to say?
“Chimichanga”
That word is fun to say even when you’re alone….
Naked…
And writing the weekly article with a football helmet on your head…
CARDINAL 44-10
Ouachita Baptist at Henderson State
It may seem against my character as a Baptist to be writing the picks naked with my college football helmet on……
But look on the bright side my fellow Baptists
At least I’m not dancing…
GOTCHA BAPTIST 31-28
Weber State at Montana
The Boy’s from the Grill College will get Smoked in Big Sky Country…
Believe it…
GRIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 38-17
Houston at Louisville
If I was a Cardinal fan…..
I wouldn’t leave my seat in “The Ville” while this one is going on…
It could easily go either way
STRONGER CARDINALS 34-31
Syracuse at Florida State
The Orange “might” win this game……
And I “might” become a world renowned expert on butt fungus….
Neither of which is very likely
SEMINOLES 141-0
South Dakota State at South Dakota
This rivalry in the Dakota’s doesn’t have a catchy name or trophy for the winner…
It’s more important than that..
It’s about bragging rights
JACKRABBITS 28-17
North Alabama at Tarleton State
What kind of name is “Tarleton”?
It sounds like a kid that get’s his lunch money taken away from him in public schools
FLORENCE LIONS 41-17
Georgia at Auburn
The South’s Oldest Rivalry….
It’s going to be a shoot-out
WAR DAMN EAGLE 41-31
Oklahoma State at Texas
I refuse to go against my Beloved Longhorns…..
(Don’t try to blame this on my writing the picks naked either)
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 38-34
North Dakota State at Youngstown State
Have you ever seen a Penguin get run over by a Buffalo?
You will if you watch this game….
MIGHTY (MIGHTY) BISONS
Florida at South Carolina
My beloved Gator faithful……
I wish I had better news…
GAMECOCKS 28-17
Iowa State at Oklahoma
I have a suggestion for those of you that enjoy “fast food”….
The next time you go by McDonalds calmly ask the attendant at the window….
“Is this month’s special the McMonkey Turd sandwich?”
(Don’t laugh; you know it’s coming…)
BOOMER SOONERS 31-17
Georgia Southern at Elon
I have been corrected no less than four times this week via emails on how to “properly” pronounce ELON. I will let you all in on a little secret….
A man that is writing a weekly college football column naked with a football helmet on doesn’t like to be told he’s an “idiot”. I already know that OR I wouldn’t be writing the picks naked with a football helmet on…..DUH
SOUTHERN EAGLES 34-21
Miami (FL) at Duke
I honestly can’t believe I am actually writing this…..
BLUE DEVILS 31-28
Michigan at Northwestern
Both of these teams are playing so bad…..
I’m surprised they don’t just call the game due to lack of interest
WOLVERINES 21-17
Chattanooga at Samford
The Chattanooga Choo-Choo is rolling down the tracks…..
Believe it….
MIGHTY MOC’S 34-17
Texas Tech at Baylor
Don’t be surprised if there is an upset brewing in Waco…..
I won’t be….
DA BEARS 41-38
Troy at Ole Miss
I know, I know…..
I make fun of the Rebel “Black Bear” mascot all the time….
But it’s worth noting that this team is the “real” deal….
(But the foam rubber black bear mascot is still funny, I don’t care who you are)
REBELS 41-21
Sam Houston State at Southeast Louisiana
The Great Sam Houston was the Hero of San Jacinto ….
That’s good enough for me…
BIG SAM 44-10
Indiana at Wisconsin
Here we go again……
This Big Ten (Or Fourteen) “rivalry” game…..
This game is played each year for the coveted ….
“Cheese-O’-Rama”
I know it doesn’t sound very interesting, but it sure does smell funny
THE POWER OF CHEESE 34-17
Arkansas Monticello at Southern Arkansas
My formula for this game is a simple one….
I know Bo, and Bo knows Weevils
BO WEEVILS 31-28
Oregon State at Arizona State
I scream, you scream we all scream for…..
The Upset….
BEAVERS 31-28
Washington State at Arizona
This game in the desert may be a lot closer (a lot) closer than you might think….
Not that we actually care…
ROD CATS 34-31
Susquehanna at Juniata
This is it…..
The showdown we have waited all year for….
Juanita and Susie….
“J-Lo and Susie Q”
The game is known by many names….
“The Trailer Park Showdown”
“The Beat Down in Down Town”
It’s always hard to predict….
I am going with….
J-LO 21-17
California at Colorado
This game may actually answer the eternal question of college football….
“If two teams don’t know how to win, can either of them win if they play each other?”
(I scared myself there for a minute; I started to sound like David Carradine in “Kung Fu”)
BUFFALOS 21-17
Memphis at South Florida
Does this game “really” matter?
No, no it doesn’t…
DA BULLS 28-24
Wyoming at Boise State
I tell you why I like this game…..
It has Bronco’s and Cowboys involved in the game
The perfect game for the “West”
BRONCO’S 31-14
North Carolina State at Boston College
The once proud “Wolf Pack” are playing more like Chihuahua’s….
CHESTNUTT HILL EAGLES 34-10
Michigan State at Nebraska
I can only say this about this game….
Damn It Cornhuskers
GO TELL THE SPARTANS 38-17
Cincinnati at Rutgers
The Boy’s from Skyline Chili defeated the Ponies from Southern Methodist last week in a wild shoot out.
I won’t go against them this week…..
BEARKATS 31-17
Purdue at Penn State
I have been accused of not saying anything “positive” about the Purdue Boilermakers
Here you go Purdue Fans…
I hear they have an excellent Debate Team and Math Club….
You’re Welcome
JOE’S LIONS 28-14
Central Florida at Temple
The Owls are going to get the living Hoot beaten out of them….
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 101-3
North Carolina at Pittsburgh
Way off the subject…..
I just noticed that my old mouth piece attached to my football helmet smells funny….
For some reason I thought that smell was coming from my Black Lab “Doc”…
PANTHERS 24-21
Kentucky at Vanderbilt
Wildcat football fans please take note…..
There will be a group of what would appear to be Vanderbilt students dressed in Black and Gold uniforms, holding instruments of all shapes and kinds at the football game.
They are called the “Marching Band”
I thought you should know….
COMMODORES 31-17
Maryland and Virginia Tech
It’s far to close to Thanksgiving to go against the Turkeys…..
(It’s a rule…)
FIGHTING TURKEYS 34-17
MIT at Coast Guard
I had no idea that the Mississippi Institute of Technology had a football team..
I thought all they did was retread tires and change out mufflers….
I am so proud
MISS TIRE and MUFFLER 21-17
West Virginia at Kansas
I have a legitimate reason for not picking the Kansas Jayhawks this week….
It’s because the Kansas Jayhawks are playing this week
MOUNTAINEERS 33-10
Texas Christian at Kansas State
I will not under any circumstances go against Coach Bill Snyder this week…..
I am getting tired of him making me look like a complete idiot on my picks.
BILL’S CATS 31-14
Central State at West Alabama
The Tigers have recovered from their thrashing at the hands of the mighty Florence Lions
Which isn’t good for the Boy’s from Central State…
BAMA TIGERS 34-14
Connecticut at Southern Methodist
If my once proud ponies don’t beat the stuffing out of these hapless knuckleheads…..
Then I will start referring to them (as much as it would pain me to do so)…
As the Miniature Shetland Ponies…
(Don’t make me do it…)
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 41-21
Louisiana Lafayette at Georgia State
These Cajuns are hotter than a mouth full of Fire Ants….
RAJUN CAJUNS 44-10
Valdosta State at Texas A&M Kingsville
It’s a against my better judgment but I am going with….
BLAZERS 33-31
Idaho State at Brigham Young
This how I break this game down….
Listen closely….
Brigham Young can run the football as well as anyone in the country….
Idaho State on the other hand can’t really do anything right…
So, there you go…
COUGARS 41-10
Lenoir Rhyne at Catawba
Little known fact……
If you sneeze and attempt to say “Catawba” at the exact same time…..
There will be something fly out of your nose that looks like a hamster
Before you ask…”NO” I don’t want to talk about it
LEANN RIMES 41-21
South Alabama at Navy
I wouldn’t complexly dismiss the Jaguars in this contest…
But it would appear that the Midshipmen have righted their ship.
(Notice the catchy Naval reference?)
MIDSHIPMEN 34-21
Colorado State at New Mexico
I am going with Coach Jim and the Mighty Rams in this one…..
Believe it
RAM TOUGH 31-28
Louisiana Tech at Rice
The Boy’s from Tech are rolling and the Owls are reeling…
BULLDOGS 28-27
St Thomas at St Olaf
Ollie hasn’t been playing well as of late…..
Neither has Saint Tommy…..
But I have a feeling on this one
TOMMY BOY 28-14
Texas State at Arkansas State
Nothing says a good old fashioned fight like a game between…
“Cats and Dogs”
I will not be able to stand the looks of disappointment I will get from “Doc” and “Sadie”
If I don’t go with….
RED WOLVES 34-31
San Diego State at Hawaii
Here is a little mascot history for you…..
San Diego State are called the “Aztecs”
The “Aztecs” of course never ventured to California or the San Diego area because they were far to busy with ritual sacrifices of their fellow citizens.
Hawaii calls themselves the “Rainbow Warriors”
Although Hawaii was at one time known for their fierce indigenous tribe of warriors, this reference is to the smaller sect within the tribes that were less concerned with warfare and more focused on interior decoration of the grass huts and the fashionable grassy attire of the other warriors. They were first discovered when Captain James Cook discovered Hawaii and one of this sect approached him and said….
“That Uniform looks Fab-u-lous!”
That concludes today’s mascot history lesson….
AZTECS 38-17
I have to get some clothes on and start a fire its getting cold in here
And as a side note….
I think this helmet is stuck on my head…
Enjoy your games….
RTR
THE CFB WIZARD