Thanksgiving College Football Picks

November 20, 2012
By

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Thanksgiving is here…..

The colorful leaves are falling from the trees….

There is a chill in the air….

Wonderful smells are drifting out from the kitchen…

It’s a time to be thankful for all those things we are blessed to have

And a time that you wish your arch rival would choke on a turkey leg

I present your Week 13 Thanksgiving College Football Picks

Enjoy your Picks….

POST GAME COMMENTARY

Before you ask…..

“NO” I didn’t see the big upsets coming last week but in all fairness neither did the Wildcats or the Ducks. With that being said, Your Favorite College Football Prognosticator went 43 and 14 or 75% last week. That leaves the CFB Wizard overall for the season at 658 and 174 hovering at 79%

Not too bad all things considered…..

THE HISTORY OF THANKSGIVING COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAMES

Many of you have asked “What is the History behind College Football games on Thanksgiving?”

And some of you wrote me asking..

“What do College Football rivalries have to do with Thanksgiving?”

Thank you all for taking the time to write and ask….

After the first settlers landed at Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts on November of 1620 they endured a harsh winter and the following year with the help of their Wampanoag Indian (Native American) neighbors they enjoyed a bountiful harvest in the year of 1621.

That November of 1621 the early pioneers to the “new” world invited their Wampanoag neighbors to a feast to what we now know and celebrate as Thanksgiving. But what is not widely known is when the meal was completed one of the settlers, whose name has been lost to history invited their guests to a game of “Ham Ball”, this was played on an unevenly marked recently harvested corn field and it was played with a “ham” wrapped in pigskin.

This of course is further evidence that despite what the White House will tell you there were NO Muslims at the first thanksgiving feast.

But that aside, the two teams squared off….

The Pilgrims and the Indians

EDITORS NOTE: In regards to the above Team Names; You have to remember that there was no NCAA Speech police at the time to tell someone what they should “feel bad” about so they just made up their own names.

They didn’t play “quarters” because there was no such thing at the time so they played two half’s or as the rules stated then “Until thou ham comes off the bone”

It was a close affair with the halftime score Pilgrims 12 Indians 7

Interesting point to note here….

The Pilgrims couldn’t kick an extra point through the corn husks because they wore funny shoes with buckles and their Native American counterparts recorded the first ever barefooted kicker for a successful extra point.

The second half of the first thanksgiving football game was even tougher and it was a back and forth affair with neither team giving ground.

But with minutes ticking away until the final gun (And “yes” they actually used a real gun, whistles hadn’t been invented yet and typically the spectators hit the ground or dove for cover before the gun fired)

The Indians felt they had received some bad calls from some of the “local” Pilgrim referees namely one “Penn Standish Wagers” whose great-great-great-great grandson would grow up to be the worse referee in all of college football.

The Indians then threatened to “take their ham and go home” and as some reported to “scalp the white devils” which garnered an “unsportsmanlike penalty” against the Indians.

While backed up their own end zone and under the shadow of their own corn husks, the Indians executed what was then known as a “Hail Wampanoag” throwing the ham in an arc down the field for the final score of the day.

Thus ended the first Thanksgiving football game….

INDIANS 13 – PILGRIMS 12

The annual event was suspended the following year when the Indians massacred the Pilgrims over a perceived slight to the Wampanoag Harvest Princess. And then the next year some newly arrived Jewish Pilgrims proceeded to “trade” the Wampanoag Indians some glass beads and colored cloth for Massachusetts, New York, Rhode Island and Maine.

Thus the Thanksgiving rivalry lives to this very day

But perhaps one of the most notable Thanksgiving rivalry games has its roots in what was then the “western frontier” known as Ohio in 1770.

One of the most noteworthy pioneers of his day….

Wayne Woodrow Hayes was known as “Woody” due to his skills as a frontiersman and his ability to clear settlements with an ax. Woody was scouting near Maumee Bay for an upcoming fishing expedition when across the bay in what was then known as Mich-ee-gan was a man of some local renown named Clem Schembechler and his future wife Ann Arbor.

On this particular morning Clem wearing his favorite wolverine skin hat, spotted Woody near the bank of a corner of Maumee Bay and yelled…

“Yonder there! Is thou a Friend or is Thou a Foe?”

It was then that Woody utilizing a homemade slingshot fired a Buckeye across the bay and took out a chunk of Ann Arbor’s ear. This ignited a cross state (or territory) rivalry that would last until this very day.

Certainly there are other more colorful examples of the history behind football games on Thanksgiving and the rivalries that surround them, but none more historically accurate than what you will read right here.

THE GAMES

Tuesday November 20th

Akron at Toledo
This little known rivalry in the Buckeye State is played for the coveted….
“Steel Belted Radial Tire Trophy”…..
I think it’s sponsored by Goodyear…
ZIPPY the PINHEAD 24-21

Thursday November 22nd

Texas Christian at Texas
This is the “2012” version of the Lonestar Showdown….
I will really miss watching the Aggies getting the Longhorn beat down…
This one is for Coach Royal….
MIGHTY LONGHORNS 34-24

Friday November 23rd

Buffalo at Bowling Green
The Bill for the Season has come in for Buffalo….
(You have to admit that was pretty clever)
FALCONS 31-14

Ball State at Miami (OH)
This game features a whole lot of Birds….
The “Bird” goes to…
CARDINALS 34-31

Syracuse at Temple
I still can’t get over the Orange beating Missouri last week….
Good Lord…
ORANGE JUICED 33-17

South Florida at Cincinnati
The Cats of Bear disappointed me last week…..
They won’t this week and that’s No Bull
BEARKATS 28-17

Northern Illinois at Eastern Michigan
I would seriously care about this game….
But I am beginning to tailgate for the Iron Bowl….
Sorry…
It’s that damn serious…
HUSKIES 38-31

Ohio at Kent State
Another of the Big rivalries in the Buckeye state this week….
This one is no Joke
Both of these teams are the real deal
It’s going to be a good one
UPSET HERE……
FRANK’S BOBCATS 31-28

Nebraska at Iowa
I am forever amazed as big a damn people as they raise in Iowa that they don’t or can’t run the football
Enough said….
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 34-14

Marshall at East Carolina
The last game the Thundering Herd played before the plane crash that took the team, coaches and boosters on November 14th 1970 was against the East Carolina Pirates.
I know you may see this as an “upset”
But I’m just sentimental
WE ARE MARSHALL 31-28

LSU at Arkansas
This intense rivalry in the Southeastern Conference is played for the “Golden Boot”
I wish I had better news for the Razorback faithful…
But I don’t
HEY FIGHTN’ TIGERS 41-14

Utah at Colorado
Do you know how many Utes it takes to beat the Buffalos?
TWO UTES 34-17

Central Michigan at Massachusetts
The Minutemen’s minute of college football was over in September….
CHIPPEWAS’S 28-17

West Virginia at Iowa State
Although the Cyclones are hard to beat at home….
I am going with the Mountaineers in this one
LIGHT THOSE THANKSGIVING COUCHES!
MOUNTAINEERS 34-28

Washington at Washington State
This instate rivalry in the great state of Washington is played for the….
“Apple Cup”
(I’m serious, I didn’t make that up)
HUSKIES 38-14

Arizona at Arizona State
This rivalry in the land of sand is called….
“The Duel in the Desert” and it’s played for the Territorial Cup
Yippee…
WILDCATS 51-24

Saturday November 24th

Auburn at Alabama
The great Keith Jackson the voice of college football said of this game…
“There are rivalries and there are rivalries and then there is Alabama and Auburn”
Enough said….
CRIMSON TIDE 38-14

Oregon at Oregon State
This rivalry game is called the “Civil War”
Make no mistake about it…
There is nothing “civil” about this game
Beat their damn ass….
MIGHTY BEAVERS 38-34

Notre Dame at Southern California
This “rivalry” game is played for the “jeweled shillelagh”
And as a side note to the fans of this game….
They make a cream that will clear that condition up….
I’m just saying…
GOLDEN GNOMES 34-28

Georgia Tech at Georgia
This rivalry is called….
“Clean old fashioned Hate” and it’s played for the Governor’s Cup
Lewis and Larry……this one is for you…..God Bless You Boys…
HUNKER DOWN BIG DAWGS 41-21

Florida at Florida State
This is the “Sunshine State Showdown”….
It’s going to be a good one…
It could easily go either way
Believe it
JUMBO’S NOLES 24-21

South Carolina at Clemson
This bitter battle in the Palmetto State is played for the….
“Hardee’s Trophy”
I think it’s sponsored by Burger King
DABO’S TIGERS 41-28

Connecticut at Louisville
Ok, so I missed picking the Cardinals with an undefeated season….
I won’t miss this one…
STRONGER CARDINALS 34-17

Oklahoma State at Oklahoma
There is nothing bigger in Oklahoma this weekend….
This is the “Bedlam game” for the Bedlam Bell
Sorry Sam….
BOOMER SOONER 38-24

Stanford at UCLA
This is a huge game in the PAC something or another….
Both teams played the role of giant killers last week…
I am going with….
CARDINAL 28-24

Missouri at Texas A&M
I still can’t believe the Aggies ditched their annual game with the Longhorns…
It’s criminal
GIG EM AGGIES 55-17

Mississippi State at Ole Miss
If you want to see a rivalry that is full of hate and discontent…
Then look no further than the “Egg Bowl”
This is a damn old school Mississippi fight from start to finish
BULLY DOGS 38-17

Baylor at Texas Tech
This old Southwest Conference rivalry is between two very dangerous teams….
It’s going to be a good one
GET THOSE GUNS UP!
RED RAIDERS 31-28

Rutgers at Pittsburgh
I really wish I cared about this game….
But I “should” be celebrating an Iron Bowl victory by this time…
Just saying…
SCARLETT KNIGHTS 24-17

Illinois at Northwestern
This “rivalry” game is played for the….
“The Land of Lincoln Trophy”
Which reminds me….
Someone asked me the other day if “I was going to see the new Abraham Lincoln movie….”
As a Proud Southerner I answered ….
“I just want to show up the last ten minutes to see the happy ending”
What, too soon?
WILDCATS 31-17

Michigan State at Minnesota
This absolutely meaningless rivalry in the Big 10 or 16 whatever….
Never mind it’s not important
O SO Very Golden GOPHERS 24-21

Miami (FL) at Duke
Believe it or not….
I am going with…
BLUE DEVILS 31-28

Boston College at North Carolina State
I was going to tell you how important this game was….
But that would be a lie
WOLFPACK 34-31

Maryland at North Carolina
With a win in this game….
The Boys from Carolina have a chance at the Purina Monkey Chow Bowl…
Yeah, it’s that important
TAR HEELS 24-17

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest
Didn’t I tell you earlier in the season that the Commodores were for real?
You’re Welcome
COMMODORES 34-21

Wisconsin at Penn State
It’s Thanksgiving for God’s Sake….
Don’t Hate
NITTANY LIONS 24-21

Tulane at Houston
If you are actually taking the time out of your day to watch this game….
Then you have some serious issues…
(Please seek some professional help)
COUGARS 17-14

Virginia at Virginia Tech
The game is for the Commonwealth Cup…..
Because of Thanksgiving I want to pick the Turkeys….
It’s going to be close
HOKIES 21-17

UAB at Central Florida
I think the Blazers will get torched in O Town
(O Town was in no way a reference to the musically challenged Boy Band)
GOLDEN KNIGHTS 41-17

Louisiana Monroe at Florida International
I’m World War II aviation fan, so I believe in the power of the….
WARHAWKS 41-28

Indiana at Purdue
This Big Ten (or something or another) Rivalry is played for the coveted…
“Old Oaken Bucket”
Not to be in any way confused with the synthetic polyurethane bucket
That would just be wrong
HOOSIER DADDY 41-17

Tulsa at Southern Methodist
Although I am a Baptist I cannot pick against the Mighty Mustangs….
It’s against my religion
MIGHTY MUSTANGS 34-31

Kentucky at Tennessee
Before the Politically Correct Turd Monkeys got involved…
This game was called “The Battle for the Barrel”
“The Bourbon Barrel”
To me it still IS called that….
VOWELS 21-17

Michigan at Ohio State
Simply put…..
This one is called “the Game”
Woody would be proud
MIGHTY BUCKEYES 38-24

North Texas at Western Kentucky
I still believe in the Boys from Bowling Green….
HILLTOPPERS 31-24

Idaho at Utah State
I know, I know…..
The Ida Honkies are something to behold….
But these Aggies are for real
AGGIES 44-14

Brigham Young at New Mexico State
I received an email this week that asked…
“What’s the difference between Old Mexico and New Mexico?”
The answer is simple….
New Mexico has better roads, drinkable water and more Mexicans
COUGARS 44-24

Air Force at Fresno State
I know the Bulldogs are favored….
I don’t care….
MIGHTY FALCONS 31-28

Troy at Middle Tennessee State
The Raiders from Murfreesboro are for real…..
Believe it
BLUE RAIDERS 41-28

San Diego State at Wyoming
In the immortal words of that American Rocker….
Kid Rock…..
“I want to be a Cowboy”
(Before you second guess me here, I am a damn cowboy)
COWBOY UP! 28-21

Louisiana Tech at San Jose State
Sorry Jose
It’s not Cinco De Mayo….
It’s Thanksgiving…
BULLDOGS 41-21

Southern Miss at Memphis
I wish I had better news for my Golden Eagle faithful…
But I don’t
ELVIS’S TIGERS 28-14

South Alabama at Louisiana Lafayette
The Boys from west of Breaux Bridge are Ragging….
(Admit it; you didn’t think I knew that geographical fact)
RAJUN CAJUNS 44-14

New Mexico at Colorado State
One other fact about the difference between “New” Mexico and “Old” Mexico”
There are actually competent Doctors in “New” Mexico and medical treatments don’t involve waving a bloody chicken over the infected area. Glad I could add that…
RAM TOUGH 34-31

Rice at Texas El Paso
I don’t care I will be too hung over from the Iron Bowl
MINERS 33-17

Sunday November 25th

UNLV at Hawaii
I have on good authority that Dog the Bounty Hunter will be on the sidelines of this game….
The power of his presence is like having a combination of Moses and Lynyrd Skynyrd on the sidelines….
(You do know he is Chuck Norris’s half Brother right? Enough said…)
WARRIORS ROCKING A RAINBOW 41-34

Enjoy your games…

Happy Thanksgiving to you all

RTR

THE CFB WIZARD

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One Response to Thanksgiving College Football Picks

  1. Scot "Cajun" chiasson on November 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    You left out the “Crawfish Capital” of the World and home of the original Mulates when you mentioned Breaux Bridge. Geaux SEC

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