Well Damn it all…..
Them Florida Gators done stole another one.
And too make matters worse…
If that is even possible…
Guess what done went and happened?
Remember when I was putting up a previously owned double wide trailer up for my Restaurant?
And I called it HOOT-R’s you know like that other place except spelled different?
Well little did I know…
Cause I didn’t read the mail they sent me concerning the name of my restaurant.
It might have said something about “infringement” but that word sounded made up to me.
Anyways, where do you think the other Hooters is headquartered?
Go ahead and guess?
In Damn Florida!
So here I was in the midst of celebrating during the big game..
1st quarter I believe it was..
I mean we got Volunteer fans from all over Baneberry in the trailer..
Watching the game and hooting it up, if you know what I mean!
Then all of a sudden I hear this Beeping sound….
You know like a big ole truck makes when it’s backing up.
I figured since we put signs up on the truck route about the “Volunteer Victory Party” at HOOT-R’s
that we had some truckers pull in here for a cold one to watch the game.
Then every thing started happening slow motion like…
Everybody felt a bump in the trailer, you know like somebody done backed into it…
But what was really happening is them damn Gator Loving people from the other Hooter’s
Done hooked a eighteen wheel tractor to my damn restaurant and started to drive off with it!
I ain’t kidding neither, they done it!
Well as soon as that Truck pulled off the lot with my damn restaurant
Everybody went flying ass over tea kettle towards the back of the damn trailer!
Muskrat nuggets and Possum wings, beer you name it…
Was all flying around in there like something out of one of them Henry Potter Movies!
So while we was moving down the road…
And all us layed up in the back of the trailer in a big ole pile trying to untangle ourselves…
We heard this creaking noise, you know like right before something is a’gonna break.
Well right about then…
The ass end fell out of that trailer….
and we went scattering down the road in a heap of Muskrat BBQ sauce, Beer and God knows what else.
I tell you it was a hell of a damn mess!
Glad that ole boy wasn’t up to speed yet and we was all drunk as a bunch of skunks
or somebody could have gotten seriously hurt.
So there we was….
In a nasty ass mess, skint’ from head to toe and spread down the road..
Smelling like ass and wet cornflakes with me watching my restaurant drive off in the distance.
It wasn’t till we all got out of the emergency room that I heard the Volunteers lost the damn game.
Which makes me think this is one of them conspiracies.
So I am madder than a woodpecker at steel post convention…
The Volunteers done lost the game to them Gators…
My restaurant, or what’s left of it is probably passing through Macon Georgia about now.
Here’s a phone picture of my damn restaurant somebody sent me at the Flying J Truck Stop outside of Chattanooga.
Breaks my heart to see it…
And now I got a bunch of drunks wanting to sue me for “negligence” or something like that.
It sucks to be me about now, just wanted yawl to know.
GO VOLS!
Hootie – Out!