Weekly College Football Update

The State of Florida versus the NCAA

Don’t you find it interesting that an organization like the NCAA that is “all about” the rules and the selective application there of, is openly defiant in complying with the state law and authorities of Florida?

In the event you have not been following the Florida State University struggle with the NCAA over their appeals process concerning “self-reported” violations to the NCAA, let me break this one down for you.

Several media outlets to include the Associated Press filed suit against Florida State University and the NCAA on Monday of this week to release the findings of the investigation into the Seminoles conducted by the NCAA.
This lawsuit comes on the heels of Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum’s letter to NCAA President Myles Brand stating that the NCAA “must comply with Florida (Public Records) Law or face criminal prosecution.”

You want to know what the NCAA’s response was to the above requess.

Quote: “The NCAA is allowing Florida State to release a version of its letter to the school.”

However, according to the university general counsel Betty Steffens the school must first retype the report from a computer format and redact names before the report can be sent to the State Attorney General or released to the media.

The “letter” in question details the NCAA’s response to Florida State’s appeal of sanctions resulting from academic fraud commited by some Seminole athletes.

Florida State hadn’t received the read-only version by Monday afternoon and hoped it could retype it and have university attorneys review the document before it is released.

Florida’s Attorney General is not amused by the NCAA maneuvering.

“It’s a step in the right direction, but it is not sufficient and does not comply with Florida State Law”, said a spokesperson for the Attorney General’s Office.
“You have to provide an actual copy of the document or the document itself, period. They (the NCAA) need to figure out a way to reproduce the document or provide the original to the Office of the Attorney General.”

Ahhhhhhh…..
But the NCAA in their arrogance and might don’t feel obligated to comply with state laws.
As NCAA attorney Naima Stevenson repeated the NCAA claim this past Tuesday…
“We (the NCAA) do not consider the document a public record and therefore do not feel obligated to comply.”

EDITORS NOTE: “They” don’t feel obligated to comply, with State Law?

Try that next time you get a simple ticket…
“Your Honor I don’t feel obligated to comply….”

It is time….
The Universities and Colleges that are “required” to be in this “volunteer non-profit” organization took the same stance to their tyrannical rule.

You know what my answer to these arrogant dictators is my friends?

Secede from the NCAA and form a governing body that promotes fair and equal treatment under the rules and exercises common sense in the application of those rules.

But as a side note….
I hope Attorney General Bill McCollum gives Myles Brand the electric chair.

Quote of the Week

Recent quote by Mike Garrett, USC Athletic Director regarding the NCAA Investigation into Reggie Bush and the University of Southern California Trojans.

“No one wants to find out what happened…”

EDITORS NOTE: Really?

MASCOTS, FIGHT SONGS & TRADITIONS

We all love the passion, tradition and pagentry that is college football.
The next few weeks before your “College Football Pre-Season Extravaganza” is released, we will examine the good, bad, and some slightly disturbing traditions of college football.

Enjoy….

College Mascots and Nicknames

As we have discussed there are a number of strange and unusual mascots in collegiate sports, none stranger (or more disturbing) than “Speedy” the Evergreen State Geoduck.

But by the number of emails I receive on this subject, it is abundantly clear there are other mascots that are equally as confusing to my loyal readers.
Your favorite College Football Prognosticator will examine some of the more confusing college mascots in this segment and simplify the meaning of those mascots for you.
No need to thank me…

PRESBYTERIAN COLLEGE: BLUE HOSE
Founded in 1880 by religious principles within the Presbyterian Church, this mascot refers to the scantly clad women of the night that frequented the college in the frigid winter months during the construction of the college.

EDITORS NOTE: Before you ask….
“No” I will not have a picture of their mascot on my website…
This is a family column..

LEHIGH UNIVERSITY: BROWN and WHITE
This particular “mascot” is an illustrated example of yankee colleges without any imagination.
Either that….
Or it is in reference to the President of the universities underwear after a night of ill prepared Mexican food.
(Sorry for the visual)

CAMPBELL UNIVERSITY: CAMELS
The best I can determine after a number of hours of research….
This mascot is in reference to the University Homecoming Queen of 1915.

EDITORS NOTE: To make matters worse…
The name of the mascot is “Gaylord” the Camel…
You read that right the first time.

COASTAL CAROLINA UNIVERSITY: CHANTICLEERS
Honestly,  I don’t know why a university would choose to name their team after something that sounds like a form of herpes.

WILLIAMS COLLEGE: EPHS
I am not entirely sure, but I think “Ephs” is a form of epilepsy.
Which, if you have ever seen them play football….
Explains a lot…

KENT STATE: GOLDEN FLASHES
The Kent State mascot and nickname is an embarrassing reference to the Senior Citizens Home located adjacent to the football stadium where disoriented senior citizens would wander over during football games and disrobe.

EARLHAM COLLEGE: HUSTLIN’ QUAKERS
Despite evidence to the contrary I am convinced this mascot is a reference to the preponderance of televangelist that grew up in the surrounding area.
In case you were wondering how I derived at this conclusion….
It’s because their mascot look like Jimmy Swaggart after a weekend bender.

EMAIL QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

Q: Dear Sir –
I read where they wanna make our gator coach the highest paid ever & that some folks wonder where the moneys coming from.  Well, I’ve been talking to my gator buddies & we’re gonna take up collections.
I was gonna get me one of those breast implants for my boyfriend Roscoe, but I’m gonna put that off for a while for the cause.
Go Gators!
Tracy in Homosassa, Florida

A: Now that’s what I call a true fan….

Q: Sir,
My 10 year old daughter was surfing the internet yesterday and I was shocked when she ran away from the computer, hid in a corner, and was crying uncontrollably.
When I asked her what she was so upset about, she couldn’t answer.
Her only reaction was shaking and sobbing as she hid her face in the corner and pointed her little finger in the direction of the computer.
I immediately ran to our laptop and discovered why she reacted as she did.
Please Mr College Football Wizard! Please! Remove the photo of Myles Brand from the front page of your website!
Sir, this is the scariest, most disgusting photo imaginable and has instilled sheer terror into my daughter!
The weasel like eyes with the blank stare, bat like ears and pasty complexion make him look like Satan himself!
As a concerned parent, surely you can see my point.
Sincerely,
Blanch – Flower Mound, Texas

A: Blanch there is a reason Myles Brand “looks” like Satan….
It’s because he is….

Q: Listen Jackass….
Your sister-in-law doesn’t have “one foot that looks like a hoof…”
Or antlers…
You better start saying “nice” things about her or you will get a sock full of Mule poop for your birthday.
Anonymous – Pikeville, Kentucky

A: Isn’t that what you got me last year?

Q: Mike, I know it’s early, but…..
Do you think Florida State has a shot at the Atlantic Coast Conference Championship this year?
Thanks!
Waldo – Waldo, Florida

A: Waldo in Waldo, are you kidding me?
Hey Waldo, did you know everybody has been looking for you?

Q: Mike, have you had anymore entries for the “new” Tennessee mascot contest?
Those pictures cracked me up!
Troy – Columbus, Ohio

A: Troy we will post more entries in the coming weeks and select a winner just in time for the Vol’s Kickoff.
So stay tuned….

Q: Man I read your commentary on the NCAA and it sounded all legal and everything.
You sound like a lawyer, where did you get your law degree?
Greg – Mendenhall, Mississippi

A: I picked up my Law Degree at Wal-Mart…
I found it in the section between automotive and sporting goods, near the fuzzy slippers.

Q: Dude you need to lighten up on Southern Cal!
They are like a freaking dynasty man!
And..
Coach Pete is looking at another championship to add to the trophy case!
So get on board man!
Go Trojans!
Kat – Los Angeles, California

A: I am a bit confused Kat….
“Dynasty”?….
Add another what to the trophy case?
You mean “One-Pete” Pete?
Maybe this will explain things….

One-Pete

EDITORS NOTE: Would you like me to make the graph bigger….
So you can see LSU (again) and the Florida Gators (Twice) in it?

But look at the bright side….
You can’t spell “Suck” without U.S.C.

USC01

More next week on college mascots, fight songs and rivalries….
and grudges…
So stay tuned…

Only 76 More days until Kickoff…

RTR
MEB

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