It’s me again Hootie Snitch!
I am sorry I didn’t get back with yawl after last Tuesday….
But Ole Hootie done had himself a rough week.
First, them folks from McDonalds changed their minds and wanted me to pitch my idea to them on Friday. You ain’t going to believe it….
But they said my McPossum Sandwich only had “regional appeal”!
When I asked them “what region?”, they just giggled and said never mind.
I even used my “ace in the hole”: The McMuskrat Sandwich (Come up with that one myself too!)
One of them McDonald’s guys told me that when I said it, it sounded like I had a stutter, so they said “No” to that idea too.
Believe that?
I couldn’t either, so I told them that I thought they were full of McCrap and they could kiss my McButt and I left.
Then come to find out that damn gopher up north lied about the weather, cause it got cold as hell this weekend.
You can’t tell the weather by watching some damn gopher!
Shows you what gophers and yankees know!
But I will tell you a secret, if you ask a squirrel anything after you eat some wild mushrooms, they will tell you a thing or two.
Let’s get to them Questions this week!
What’s his name will be back later in the week with reports from Spring Football games from around the country.
Q: Hootie, just where exactly is Casa Da Hootie?
Earlene – Baneberry, Tennessee
A: Earlene you know damn well where it is! I don’t want to be on “another” episode of “Cops” so you need to honor that restraining order and stay the hell away from me! Plus, I am still mad as hell you broke my Dale Earnhardt commemorative clock!
Q: Mike, what do you think Coach Rodriguez will be able to do with Michigan this year?
Troy – Ann Arbor, Michigan
A: Ain’t he that Coach whose wife looks like a hooker?
Q: Mike, with Chase Daniels coming back for another year, do you think the Missouri Tigers have a shot at the Big 12 Championship?
Tommy – Jefferson City, Missouri
A: If you had a been a reading the column Tommy you would have a known that What’s his Name is still off a fishing in Hiatus Louisiana. But to answer your question, I believe your Cinderella done lost her shoes and she ain’t going to no big dance this year.
Q: Mike, will the Mountaineers of West Virginia build upon last years Bowl victory and contend for the Big East Title? What do you think?
Terry – Morgantown, West Virginia
A: Didn’t yawl use to have that Coach whose wife looks like a hooker?
Q: Mr. Hootie, you are doing an admirable job in place of our “Favorite College Football Prognosticator”, will you continue to make a weekly post once he returns?
George – Fort Walton Beach. Florida
A: I wasn’t in the navy, but thanks for thinking I was an admiral! I will be back next week after some surgery.
I am going to give my cousin Ronnie that laser eye surgey later this week with one of them laser pointers.
I’ll let you all know how it turns out.
More Later!
Hootie – Out!