Hey Everybody!
It’s me again, Hootie Snitch!
As you no by now I am only the Number One Tennessee Volunteer Fan on the Planet!
That guy that rights this column is on what he called a “Hiatus”, which I think is a town in Louisianna.
I bet he is down there a fishing.
So I am a going to keep you all updated until he gets back.
I have been getting a lot of attention from a righting in the football column last year and so I want to answer some of my female admirer’s questions this week.
This week is for all you Ladies out there….
To get write to it and answer some of yawl’s questions:
Yes, I am single and do own my very own previously owned doublewide trailer, even got me an above ground swimming pool. I am parked right here in the Big Orange Trailer Park in Baneberry Tennessee.
Pretty Sweet, huh?
To answer the Ladies other questions about myself…..
I am no diffrent than any other Tennessee Vol fan, except of course I am the Number damn One Fan and as the ladies in the trailer park point out to me on a daily bases, I am hotter than a stolen pistol.
I like long walks in the woods, particularly if it involves a snipe hunt….I ain’t caught a snipe yet, but I hear they is good eat’n.
I don’t see nothing wrong with cleaning your toenails in public.
I don’t know what Victoria’s Secret is…But I do know what Earlene’s Secret is and I ain’t tell’n.
I hate people that think wrestlin is fake – cause it ain’t.
I like women that have at least two teeth, preferably in the front. Cause it’s easier to open a beer when they are in the front.
I believe that liquor tastes better if it’s been strained through a car radiator.
My favorite colors are Orange and ORANGE! Hell Yeah!
I don’t believe that Community Service is anything to be ashamed of……
I like a woman that can play Rocky Top with her arm pit. That is just plain sexy.
I believe Coach Fulmer is like Moses, only heavier.
Women with mullets are just classy looking.
I don’t care what the damn police say, I believe that it’s O.K. to shoot a gun off in your own house when those damn cheat’n Gators beat the Vols or anytime somebody mentions anything to do with Alabama.
That includes the damn country music group too.
My favorite vacation place is The International Tow Truck and Recovery Hall of Fame and Museum in Chattanooga Tennessee. The gift shop is freaking awesome!
Check it out!
http://www.internationaltowingmuseum.org
Some of you ladies have asked if my cousin Ronnie is on “The Wall of the Fallen” at the Tow Truck and Recovery Hall of Fame and Museum.
Hell NO! Ronnie don’t even drive a tow truck! We was down there at the gift shop before Christmas and Ronnie was all liquored up (As Usual) and screwed around and got the back of his britches hung on the tow hook statue at the Wall of the Fallen.
I never seen such a wedgee in my damn life!
By the time we got him down his drawers were big enough to be a car cover.
If you ladies have any more questions, you can right me here, at least until what’s his name gets back from fishing in Hiatus or just come on by the Casa Da Hootie in Baneberry, where it’s always Party Time!
GO VOLS!