Hey Yawl!

Hell yeah it’s me!

The Number Damn One Tennessee Vol Fan on the Planet!

It’s Hootie “Mad as Hell” Snitch

Hell yes I’m Mad!

You want to know why?

Cause everything done got turned upside down!!

First that damn dope smoking California Loving Coach Lame Kitten..
Done ditched us faster than a supermodel on a blind date with a one eyed midget.

Not to mention I went and done gave Lame and his whole damn Zima drinking coaching staff
“free two –for-one coupons” at Snitch’s Bar and Grill for all the Possum wings and Muskrat Nuggets they could eat.

I bet that SOB took them coupons with him when he left too!

I call that ungrateful as Hell!

Now there might be some cussing in this one, so you might not want your young’uns a reading this episode.
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Ladies and Gentlemen

Glad you enjoyed the first installment of the 2010 College Football News
And as promised…

The follow on installment for your viewing pleasure..

If you enjoyed the first article, then this should hit your funny bone in just the right place

But before I leave you to your reading…

You did get the memo that the “World is Coming to an End”

Right?

In case you didn’t get the email….
It simply says ….

The New Orleans Saints are going to the Super Bowl….

Hell has indeed frozen over….

Enjoy …..
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It’s been a rather exciting “off season” already hasn’t it?

Have I mentioned The University of Alabama Crimson Tide
ARE the College Football National Champions?
I have?
Sorry, it’s been a while for me…

We have a lot to catch up on don’t we?

In fact we have SO much to talk about
This segment will be posted in “two” separate articles, to include your email questions and answers…
So be sure and check back for part two in a couple of days…

But where to begin?

Let’s see….

How about we start with….

How Coach Pete Carroll ran like a scalded dog to the Home of Starbucks……
(I wonder if he is taking his Malibu Co-ed?)
Before the Joe McKnight “scandal” and the Reggie Bush “investigation” caught up with him and the “mediocre” Trojans.

You don’t think that was the reason he split in the middle of the night?

My friends….
Have a seat relax and read on…
This is going to be fun…
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My Friends…..

I have been accused of many things over the years….

But being “Un-Cool” isn’t one of them….

I received an email from a young Crimson Tide fan…..
Concerning the video I included with the last post and the young fan actually said….

It hurts me to repeat this…..
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Ladies and Gentlemen –

So here I am in Satan’s Butt Crack….
Watching the National Championship Game…

Yes “The” National Championship Game

Yelling loud enough that, according to NASA, lights dim as far away as San Antonio

Then it happened….
Alabama’s attempted fake punt on the first possession of the first quarter caused my spleen to jump out of my belly button…

If that wasn’t bad enough…..
I had no internet connection after the game…..

Maybe I was yelling too much?
Never mind that’s impossible…

But I am doing much better now, Thank you all for the cards and letters.

So let’s talk about the game…..

It’s still hard to believe….

The University of Alabama Crimson Tide
Are the 2009 undefeated National Champions of Collegiate Football

The “13th” Championship for the University of Alabama

14-0-0

The Tide’s first Heisman Trophy winner…..

The first time the University of Alabama ever defeated Texas….

It was a season to remember and one I doubt anyone will ever forget…
I certainly won’t
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Ladies and Gentlemen –

As the sun sets on the end of another year….
It’s time to wrap up the Bowl season
And the National Championship

Safety Tip: For those of you reading this on January 1st……
This column is not written or designed in 3D…..
If you are seeing double
You “may” have had too much of Grandpa’s Couch Medicine last night.

As I set here in my new Urban Myer Flip Flops and prepare to return to Satan’s Butt crack
Wait, I can’t decide if I like these things or not….
Never mind….
I decided I like them…
Or do I?

Never mind….
I will wear one flip flop around for another day and decide if I will keep them.

Before we go any further I want to say
The folks in Lubbock made a bad decision firing Coach Leach..
A Very Bad Decision

You may be wondering what New Year Resolutions I will make this year

My 2010 New Year’s Resolutions are quite simple
This year I will no longer introduce myself as “Gary Busey’s Illegitimate Son”
(But I did enjoy signing all the autographs last year)
I will no longer judge people on their height, weight and color of their eyes.
Instead I will judge people based upon whether or not they like ABBA.
(They suck by the way)
And perhaps most important of all
I intend on taking more time this year to enjoy my extensive collection of…
Herve Villechaize albums of classic Love Songs

These Urban Myer Flip Flops make me jump from subject to subject
Don’t they?
I am taking them off for good….
I changed my mind, I’m keeping them

Have a Great Year my Friends……

Enjoy!
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